Rest for the Wicked
Song of the Moment: "shanty for the arethusa" the decembrists
I just slept for like 16 hours. It was amazing. I think back to my senior year, sleeping through class, hanging with the girls till 9 when I went to work, and then Owen picking me up and taking me to school… jesus christ. was that even me? did I dream all that? Really, I think I remember only one actual day/night of working that semester and I’ve applied that one day to the rest of high school. I have no real memory of like months of my life. Does anyone remember how that actually went? sara? am I making that up? I can’t imagine doing that now.
Just pulled my first all-nighter of the semester; which is sick because it’s been like 2 weeks and I am that behind already. I finished my paper on european settler attitudes towards Indians in Canada during the 18th century. It turned out pretty well, I think. My proffessor in that class is the type of man you never, ever want to disappoint. seventy-something british genius that will only address you by your last name… you know the sort. Kind of want to marry him, but whatever.
And of course, the Playlist assignment. "The Hanged Man". I’m horribly disappointed in myself because I know how much better you guys would have done with it than I actually did. It was fun, don’t get me wrong, but I’m so indecisive I muddled everything up. Again, thank you for your help. I learned much, even if I didn’t prove it with my assignment. You’re not allowed to see it, I’m so embarrassed by my failure [even though one slimy bastard already looked it up. 'tard. 
] But it is done, and about half my links actually work… so i guess that’s good.
I am so unmotivated this year. At UNCG, I ripped through everything with an eager attitude, for the joy of learning. At UNC Ch-ill, everything’s a chore. I have this sense of futlity, and an impulse to just consign myself to the hell of mediocrity and just be done with it. Drop out, or worse, build a "C" average for the rest of my academic career. I’m sick of the competetive atmosphere. These bastards suck the fun out of everything. Anyway.
I should be catching up to avoid future all-nighters, not whining to the loves. Feminist Geography calls. (who makes this shit up, anyway?) Again, thanks for the help.
love.
January 26th, 2006 at 8:52 am
You are the exact opposite of mediocre. Don’t let that fucked up Greensboro disease drag you down. You just may have to work harder than others — because you need your job, because you have a son — but don’t let yourself be fooled in to thinking you are not as smart or as deserving as those who seem to breeze by.
“You are the light of the world. A city built on a hill cannot be hid.
No one after lighting a lamp puts it under the bushel basket, but on the lampstand, and it gives light to all in the house.
In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father in heaven.”
– Matt 5:14-16
January 26th, 2006 at 10:27 am
Exactly what Andy said. No offense to your friends who have proudly walked the halls of Carolina, but I’m far from impressed. You would shine any place that you graced with your presence. You’re one of the most brilliant people I know….if not the most. You understand concepts that I could only hope to grasp and your determination and work ethic has always left me in awe. You make those of us who are more priveledged with time, money, and circumstance feel shamed as well as inspired. There is nothing wrong with settling for a B every once in a while. I know you loved Greensboro, but you made that sacrifice for a reason. You are at your best when you are challenged, like most people of brilliance. As far as the competition goes….I laugh. Who gives a shit about those spoiled brats that you’re in class with. They have no understanding of the responsibilities of “real life”. In fact, I would bet they’d crumble under your load. You’ve come to far to settle now, but at the same time don’t kill yourself over insignificant details. I know I’m not alone when I say you’re amazing. I’ve never met anyone like you and honestly I’ve never benefitted as much from being around any other human being. You’re a sage, you’re an angel, and a perfect companion for a holiday “trip”.
Happy Birthday, Sweetness!
I’ll always love my cherry bomb.